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Tour of Norfolk - 2003

Wilsons CC on Tour – Report

The first Wilsons cricket tour for some time resulted in over 300 miles of driving, 3 days of cricket and 13 players taking part. One game was won (due to the opposition being youngsters), one game was a close defeat (due to opposition's ability) and one was an annihilation (due to our hangovers). We played some good cricket on beautifully maintained wickets, drank well and raised over £100 from fines for the club's coffers. Already plans are being made for the 2004 tour….

Day One: Monday 18 August - Norwich Wanderers

"Road Works, Road Trips and Revenge"

The tour started around 8.30am with four cars filled with anticipation, good humour and more CDs than HMV. By 12.30, the CDs had been exhausted, the humour unsurprisingly focused on Norfolk’s inbreeding and anticipation had been tempered by roadworks, tractors and the long winding roads of the Broads.

First checkpoint was McDonalds, and the Wilson players maintained their peak levels of fitness by consuming burgers, fries and milkshakes. The ones who skipped on the fries supplemented them with cigarettes -it would not be the first time. "Onwards to Wroxham", were the instructions from skipper Boss and the first of many navigational cock-ups by the prematurely balding right-hander. He picked what seemed to be the only place in Norfolk where tourists converge and parking places were at a premium. We tried to cruise past the millions of back packers and middle-aged men in shorts. Rose and Boss found parking round the back of a supermarket. Norman being much wiser found the pub. We waited for Imran and Nabil, who fell behind most probably due to being involved in a drive by with some sheep (pap, pap, pap….).

After another McDonalds visit we went en masse to our first game, against Stef’s old side Norwich Wanderers. It was a lovely ground and just what we were expecting…a gorgeous batting track, enclosed grounds in the middle of rolling fields. The Australian, Pip, enjoyed the scenes the most as it was his first experience of a combine harvester. Obviously their agricultural techniques are more primitive down under. Stef lost the toss and was duly asked to bowl first. Rose and Andy Call opened the bowling, the latter now nicknamed Harmy after Steve Harmison. Both started well and kept the score down. However, it was obvious that a score in excess of 200 was par and Wanderers maintained good momentum. The Wilsons bowlers kept things tight without looking dangerous. Highlights included Imran scaring the opening batsmen to death with a bouncer of some speed (timing it precisely to coincide with the sun going behind a big black cloud, plunging the game into darkness). The batsmen immediately sent for his helmet, his life insurance and even had a quick prayer. Nibs took 2 wickets, and bowled a ball, which bounced 8 times before crawling to the batsmen.

The score of 227 was about par and the Wilsons players were quietly confident of getting past the total. They were quiet mainly because they were asleep after such a long drive. Pip and Imran opened and both started confidently. Imran played some lovely shots before holing out at gully. Nibs played some flamboyant shots but he too holed out. Enter Stefan Boss and the Wanderers sensed revenge for ever allowing him to grace their wicket bowling his pies. He cover drove exquisitely the first ball he faced for four and was looking like going on to make a good score when he caught a full toss low on his bat and looped it straight to mid off. After the dismissal, Norman and Bush put the innings back in order, albeit scoring slowly. Norman was, in particular, struggling against a 13 year old spinner, much to the delight of Stefan who was umpiring at the time. But as all good batsmen do, Norman fought it out and eventually top scored with 35. At the end, some of the lesser bowlers came on allowing Richard Odell and Dave Rose to hit out but it was all in vain. All batsmen got into double figures, but none went on to stamp their authority.

After the game, fines were dealt out with the unfortunate Odell being targeted. Tom Moore was also hit for some cash, but not really due to performances on the cricket field - his necklace wearing burnt him the most. We checked into our hotel, a Travel Tavern of Alan Partridge fame if there ever was one. A quick change and the touring party decided that a curry was the thing to round off the day. The details of the discussions in the curry house will of course remain amongst those who went on tour…….what goes on tour, stays on tour. Suffice to say I can never look at a watermelon in the same way ever again….

Day Two: Tuesday 19 August - Fakenham Town

"And it burns, burns, burns….the ring of fire………."

After rounding off the curry playing snooker into the wee small hours it was quite an achievement that the vast majority of players made it down to breakfast at 9.29 (9.30 being ‘last orders’ for a full English). The morning was spent sampling the leisure activities that the Travel Tavern had to offer. Rose, Odell and Harmy defied aches and pains by attempting to play badminton. Rallies were short, as was the breathing. Curry sweats and stomach churnings curtailed the game to 15 mins and the trio met up with some of the others in the swimming pool. All laid in the shallow waters feeling rather professional, resting muscles and emptying the lactic acid from bodies. Perhaps the mistake was then to go on the slide five times, giggling like schoolboys.

So, on to Fakenham, a 20 minute drive away from our base. Finding the village was no problem for out intrepid explorer Boss, mainly due to the fact it was signposted all the way. However finding the actual ground was more difficult, as we stopped at each available park, field and even someone’s back garden. Eventually we came across a lovely maintained ground with sponsor’s boards, a huge pavilion and a remote controlled scoreboard. Again, the track looked a batsman’s paradise. Stef won the toss the elected to bat.

Norman and Odell opened the batting, the latter suffering from his over ambitious claims of being able to eat a chili vindaloo the night before. (Thank god Stef bought some toilet roll…). Norman played himself in spectacularly well, still on a high from being top scorer the day previous. His leave for the first ball was either extraordinarily good judgement or luck (you decide…but it missed the off stump by a whisker), his ‘getting off the mark’ shot was a well timed nick through the keeper's gloves and his attempted moo over mid wicket resulted in the timber being disturbed. Pip Allen came in and he and Odell put together the partnership of the tour. The Aussie showed his great talent by pulling and driving, going on to make a magnificent 75. Odell battled well at the other end, against both the bowlers and his own bowels. Eventually the 1st XI player of the season for 2002 holed out to long on and immediately went to the toilet to hole out again. He made a great 50-odd.

Wickets then tumbled with regularity. Nigel and Stef hit some lusty blows and Nibs played the shot of the tour stepping down the wicket to dispatch a supposed 1st team bowler from the Norfolk Premier for 6. It was a big one. Bush upped the score at the end and a good score of 250+ was posted.

Wilsons came onto the field with Andy Call and Tom Moore opening. Both bowled good spells in perfect batting conditions. Call in particular showing how he has improved greatly over the summer. Rose came on and immediately took a wicket, Odell taking a good catch standing up. As the game went on, it was more evident that Fakenham with their young team would not make the score and Stef took the opportunity to give everyone a bowl (with the exception of Nigel as we did not have a 300 run cushion…). Imran bowled his leg spin well, turning the ball sharply. Odell, fancying his chances as a bowler, removed his wicket keeping pads. He bowled his “spin” and enticed one of their many 13 year olds to hit the ball straight to cover. His reaction was more like he had got Tendulkar out then someone who has not even done his mock GCSE’s. Moore found his level (i.e. bowling at babies) and took two wickets. And just like Ian Botham you cannot keep James Norman out of the game. When he fails with the bat, he makes up with the ball. His slow half tracker which was pulled straight to mid off will be remember for a long, long time (by him anyway….).

So, success at last. We showered, we dealt out the fines and Odell had another after-curry explosion in the toilets. We went back en mass to the Partridge Palace of Paradise and got ready for a night out in Norwich. Not much can be said about the night (as I cannot remember), but suffice to say Nigel was the hero with his champers purchase. Tom Moore even got asked for ID when he was buying sweets and Imran and Nibs…..oh dear, oh dear boys…..

Day 3: Wednesday 20 August - Great Witchingham

"Hangovers and Headaches…..bring on the gimp."

The morning after the night before….less people managed to make breakfast today, which was hardly surprising due to the sheer amount of alcohol that was consumed. Luckily the finest hotel this side of Great Witchingham did not chuck us out of our rooms till 11am. Slowly the bodies assembled, all trying to remember the activities of the night before. Best left unsaid, really. The decision was made to rid our pounding heads with a swim in a pool full of screaming kids. Sanctuary was gained on the slide (boys will be boys) and bets were made on who would make the biggest splash. Unfortunately Odell’s increasing size did something to the slide and staff feared for its safety. After his attempt the rest of the boys were called back down as repairs were made. I doubt it will be the same ever again….

We converged on the café for some much-needed tucker, but many underestimated the impact fast food has on a belly full of chlorine and beer. Nigel in particular will not eat an omelette for a while. Odell than lost his wallet and Paul Morley, a late but welcome arrival to the touring team showed everyone the remains of the hill he fell down the night before whilst drunk. The chicken wings he spent 1 hour looking for to satisfy his alcohol induced munchies then dropped due to the fall were still there, apologetically scattered around the crash scene. The Gimp was well and truly back.

So onto Great Witchingham and it had to be said enthusiasm for the game was low - very low. But it was a beautiful sunny day, and the ground was another belter. When we arrived the scoreboard showed off a previous game – “Runs to win 275” with the opposition managing 223. If we had been able to bat twice I doubt we could have managed half that. Despite the reluctance to sweat and toil, the makeshift opening batsmen of Moore and Bush strode out with aplomb. 10 minutes later they scurried back. Bush got a jaffer, which unfortunately he was too good a batsmen not to nick. Moore played nice and straight but then pushed one limply to cover. Boss made little impression, as did Nabil. Imran hit some lusty blows again, one six off the top edge flying over the boundary. Rose hit out at the end as the lesser bowlers came on and 100 was reached.

The Wilsons team was by now ready to leave, but the bowling was good and 5 Great Witchingham wickets were taken. Paul Morley crowned his return with 2 wickets. Call and Rose were unable to bowl due to leg and finger injuries so Boss and Khan had to work doubly hard, and they were rewarded. The highlight of the match, the tour, the season and one might say of all time was when James Norman dived full length to his right to take a superb one handed catch off Stef. It was a gash ball, but Norman showed the opposition that we could perform when it mattered. Just not after two nights of drinking and three days of continuous cricket.

Then home, and in the fading light the convoy of cars drove back through the Broads, Kings Lynn and onto Nottingham. People slept, sometimes even the drivers. Spirits were low, but also there was a reflection by all of a great three days touring together. I have probably missed lots of detail out (both intentionally and due to lack of memory) but in a way the cricket was secondary. The team got on, we had lots of laughs and we raised lots of money for Wilsons Cricket Club. It shows the club is in good hands when two out of the three days, the oldest member of the side was 26. The team agreed that another tour is a must and I personally urge you to go. The sun on your back, a beer in hand and watching your mates make themselves look stupid with bat, ball and fielding…..it’s what summer's all about…..

Dave Rose